Marty & Jane were driving home after an expensive - yet bland
- dinner. Since Marty's minor heart attack 15 years ago, Jane had
kept her hubby on a strict, low sodium, low fat, low cholesterol
diet, depriving him of all the foods he loved.
As Marty
turned the corner at a busy intersection, another car slammed into
theirs, killing Marty & Jane instantly.
St.
Peter greeted the couple at the Pearly Gates and took them on a
tour of Heaven. Their first stop was a luxury mansion: "Your
new home," St. Peter told them.
Looking
at the expensive marble floors, Marty asked, "How much is this
going to cost us?"
"Nothing,"
St. Peter replied. "Everything is free in Heaven."
Next,
they visited their new championship-style golf course.
"This
is your private golf course," St. Peter said. "It changes
daily, representing the greatest golf courses on Earth."
"What
are the green fees?" Marty asked.
"This
is Heaven," St. Peter said. "You play for free, my friend."
Then
they went to the clubhouse and saw a lavish buffet made from the
best cuisine Earth had to offer.
"How
much to eat?" Marty asked.
St.
Peter replied, "My friend, don't you understand yet? This is
Heaven - it's all free!"
"I
see," Marty said, scratching his chin. "Tell me, is that
meal low sodium, low fat and low cholesterol?"
"No,"
St. Peter said. "And that's really the best part: You can eat
as much as you like, of whatever you want, and never get fat or
sick. This is Heaven!"
With
that, Marty pitched a fit: He tossed his halo on the floor and took
the Lord's name in vain (several times, in fact).
"Marty!"
Jane cried. "What's wrong?"
Marty
glared at his wife. "What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong!
If it wasn't for your daggone bran muffins, I could have been here
fifteen years ago!" |
