So
this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust!
Martha
Stewart doesn't live here!!
Ring
bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself!
I clean
house every other day. Today is the other day.
If you
write in the dust, please don't date it!
I would
cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!
My house
was clean last week, too bad you missed it!
I came,
I saw, I decided to order take out.
If you
don't like my standards of cooking ...lower your standards.
Although
you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse.
It doesn't
always look like this: Some days it's even worse.
A messy
kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.
A balanced
diet is a cookie in each hand!
Thou
shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
Blessed
are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease
to be amused.
Countless
number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead
normal lives.
My next
house will have no kitchen ... just vending machines.
I'd
live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.
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