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A
small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the
stand in a trial - a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached
her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She
responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known
you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment
to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, you manipulate people, and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot
when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to
anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The
lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since
he was a youngster too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents.
And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted,
and he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship
withanyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire
state. Yes, I know him."
At this
point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence, and called both
counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace,
"If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed
for contempt!"
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