This
is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless, to say
the helpdesk employee was fired: however, he/she is currently suing
the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
Actual
dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support
Employee: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What
sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
went away."
"Went
away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm.
So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are
you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can
you see the c:\prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never
mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything
I type."
"Does
your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's
the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well,
then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great!
Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the
wall.
"Yes, it is."
"When
you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well,
there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow
it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh
huh. Well can you see if it is?"
"No"
"Even
if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because
it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window."
"Well,
turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No?
Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A
power....A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the box and manuals and packing stuff you computer
came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good!
Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
from."
"Really?
Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!" |
